Back to connection

Even at the best of times, when I think I’m most connected to my higher self and my consciousness, I get lost. I lose my way all the time, multiple times a day.. sometimes I become aware of it, sometimes I don’t and continue operating under the understanding that I’m connected. I still think I understand what’s going on, that I’m in control and I’m aware, that I’m doing everything in the highest good. Until I have that one wake up call, that I really haven’t been paying attention, thta I am walking around, more like stumbling, with my eyes closed and not interacting with daily life. That I’ve become closed off and unperceptive, that I’ve shut down. However, my mind is so great at masking this from me that I slip in unconsciousness completely unaware that I’m not longer lucid. It’s like losing track of yourself in the lucid dream, somehow you unnoticeably become part of the dream and no longer in charge of it. Life is like a dream, it’s pliable and willing if you are lucid, and it’s dense and muddy when you are not.

Last night’s tarot reading and today’s meditation brought me back to lucidity. My reading was extremely powerful and jolting to opening my eyes again, and taking a deep breath. My Judgement call came. This is it. This is my last opportunity, next time I slip away for a long time, I won’t come out. The calling energy is here, you either get on board or you don’t. This is the last opportunity. I must do all possible to stay lucid, to stay aware. So focus becomes on how to stay lucid, how to stay conscious and aware of my life. Staying grounded and staying connected, while still having to participate in daily activities of unconscious mind- as they still must be managed. Self care, in the most simplest form- early up, exercise, conscious presence in all decision, slow down, take time to be grounded, to meditate. When tarot cards start popping up and I’m looking at them with “big blank eyes” – I have no clue what you are saying to me- I’m not 5 of cups, or I’m not 4 of cups, or 7 of wands, or even 3 of swords- this is the biggest clue that yes, you are. You have slipped off, you are unconscious and the cards are mirroring it back to you. Denial will get you in trouble, you will further slip away. There is a part of you that must recognize the situation for what it truly is- looking at things you don’t want to look at, becoming interactive with all aspects of your life. Are you going from day to day “waiting for Friday” so you can do nothing productive, so you can “relax”, so you can “please” yourself with Netflix and ice cream. or will you do something worthwhile- like take the time to meditate, take the time to write and reflect. Keep up on the consciousness, checking back with yourself about being awake, getting feedback from yourself- sending yourself signals and responding to them- are both parts of your brain participating, are you aware, are you conscious. When you don’t want to do that- that’s one part taking over the other- your mind is allowing you to fall asleep and has deployed it’s tricks. “Ah, I’ll meditate tomorrow. Or, ergh, I don’t want to balance my bank account today, I’ll worry about it Monday”. This right there- should be your wake up call. This should click in your mind and turn on the defense questions: Wait. Why am I procrastinating again? Am I fully conscious?

Self pity is a slippery slope of the unconscious. Its a quick slide, it’s a quick ride to the bottom of fully unconscious. The victim mentality. “But I’ve worked so hard, I’ve cleaned the whole house today, I’ve taken care of everyone else today, I need downtime. I need to just “veg” on the couch and chill. There is nothing wrong with watching one movie before bed.” I’m at a point where this exactly gets me in trouble. One night turns into the next, and next and next… and after that I’m out like a light. No longer aware, slipped into “victim mentality” of I’m so tired, I’m so exhausted, life is hard, I don’t want to do this anymore, I wasn’t meant to just clean the house, feed my family and pay bills. I’m a spiritual being, I need time for me to read my cards… This is my slippery slope! It’s so eerily similar to the reality that I’m a spiritual being, that I’m more than a housewife and business owner. But the approach to this must be different! Looking at this resentfully, looking at this annoyed and ungrateful (looking at the murky sun from the bottom of the lake, through the water)- doesn’t paint a good picture. But reversing the role, by giving myself time to be conscious, to be up at 4am- not because it’s the right things to do, but because it feels good to be up with Earth and Sun, on their cycles, is empowering. It’s uplifting. I’m taking the time to remember my place in Universe, to take life by the horns and take charge of my consciousness.

My theme card was Chariot. Taking charge, taking control, being willful, being powerful and aware, lucid, the driver- the direction giver, the navigator of consciousness. Taking charge of the situation, rather being unconsciously drag by the situation whichever way it takes you.

My issue is unplugging from life and being irresponsible with my finances. Instead of allowing money to run my life, I need to make the money work for me. Making wise choices, making wise purchases- not cheap, not save a penny here or there- but in general being more conscious of what bills I actually have, how much interest is going somewhere, what useless crap do I tend to buy (aka coffee and take out). Its not about spending $10 for a dance class, it’s about the bigger picture- am I in control of my finances. Does the money serve me? or do I serve it? Its easier to roll over and let it take over. But its worth it to get on it, and ride it.

I struggle remembering how to best connect with my consciousness. I begin to substitute my spirituality with watching Gaia TV, or listening to other’s spiritual wisdom. It will not replace me experiencing it. I can’t experience their wisdom, because it’s not mine. It may make a lot of sense. But the best way is to do it. TO take the time to meditate. To take the time to write and reflect. Not for Ego’s sake (oh I’m so wise.. I have so much knowledge), but for myself, I’m not out to teach anyone anything, but to live my life the best way I know how. My ego needs to settle down. I’m aware of when it starts to get cocky, so that’s a plus. I get too worried about what others will think of my musings, rather than just doing this for myself. I try to make things too official- Let go of the concept that I have to fit it in any sort of a box, it is what it is. Any beginning is a beginning, it doesn’t need to be a perfect one. It doesn’t need to be beautiful and decorated. This is my story and I choose to write it however it serves me best.

My cards showed me the importance of not being lost in Ego land, the land of instant gratification, the wishful thinking, how important to just recognize that all prior mistakes are just water under the bridge, and I must move on. 7 of cups and 5 of cups reversed – their message is to stop dreaming, stop pouting, but pick up the full cups and move on. Cross that bridge, make that commitment and keep walking. Quit coming back to mourn your 5 cups. Live in the present moment. Let it be your departure point into the future, rather than living the past moment, allowing it to define your future.

What do I have to do to stay conscious?

Be on the look out for victim mentality. It’s not enough to just recognize that I’m thinking that way again. It’s necessary to remember that I can’t live in “tomorrow I’ll do better”. The saying “Now is the only time” must be felt and embodied. That means right now, right here I make the choice to be conscious. I’m aware of my actions, I’m aware of the bigger picture of why I’m doing the things I’m doing. I’m aware that I’m not a victim, that I’m doing this for myself, to better myself. By reminding myself that now is my time, I’m pushing myself towards my life path, towards the light. Take the time to remember that each day is the “Now” what I do “now” determines my future path. It is not about “oh I messed up, this will screw me up, I’m so bad..blah blah blah”. It’s about recognizing when you are no longer conscious, and gently lovingly push yourself back to the light, but reminding yourself “Now is that moment”.

When I hear the “mental fog” and things that I think I remember what they mean, but don’t quite “feel” them- let that be an alert. a wake up call. Let that be the perfect time to remember that “now is that moment” to go meditate, to connect with my own consciousness. Love yourself enough to wake yourself up.

Hermit is not about being left alone, or being able to relax, or being able to get away from it all. It’s about taking the time to plug in to your own consciousness, to access where on your path you are. Are you lucid? Are you straying? Hermit is the loving and gentle reminder that you need a re connection with meditation of being “present”. Not a spirit guide, or a lucid dream, or astral projection.. but “NOW” moment. Being aware of your body, being aware of your soul in your mind, being aware of the spiritual being that resides in your body and in your mind. Allow that spiritual being show you the way, light your path and direct you to the higher good. Follow it’s call, this is your judgement. Go with that energy.

Love and light!

Yulia

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How?

What would our world be like? If each one of actually cared for others? We say we do, we sympathize, we get sad, we quietly wish the other person well, sometimes we just look the other way, some of us somehow are able to laugh at misfortune of others.

What would it be like, if one day, you were walking down the street, saw a homeless person asking for money, and stopped. Because this is a person. Because he has a story. Because one day, long time ago, they were an innocent child. Someone along the way failed this child by not teaching them what it means to be a good person, didnt teach him how to care. This child was born knowing all of this, but diacouraged along the way of such behavior by sheer example of excat opposite.

What would it be like just to sit down next to the homeless person and ask “Hey bud, what happened in your life that led you right here? What was that turning point? What can I do to help you? I am a human being who sees another human suffering. I can not let it be okay that I just ignore that. I want to see you do well.” Yet, here I am, a hippocrate of a human being… or… wait, am I? I guess i am not. I dont sit next to homeless people, i dont help the more needy, those who lack it all. I help those who lost only something special, or feel they are getting lost, or recently got lost and dont know it. Hmmmm sorry, i digress here, but i geniunly thought i was not a good human being, and then it dawned on me that its okay to not be able help the most needy, I can still be a good person.

Unexpected side turn and discovery of my own realization. But, our world would be bright with happiness for each other, we would literally transform our way of existence. A tarot sequence jumps to my mind…tower and star. Here we are, at a dark time in history of humanity. Granted we dont think that we are. I think in our life time, its easy to be not caring because so much work is done through impersonal phone, email, text…not personal intereaction. A huge change, a shift, in thinking, being, existing, enjoying life is upon us. Right now? Boy, do I feel it, so immensly, so pressing, just just just about to burst. A beautiful beginning is near. But what happens right before a beautiful beginning? An end. Tower card. It can either be a dramatic shift, with a lot of unrest because it happened prematurely, not enough people were ready. Or can be a swift, smooth transition because you just understand this is the new way of how things will be. So you become the change. Right now. Allow your light to shine so bright that it catches in others. It is your duty. Lightworkers? This is a beautiful term. You light the way. You embody that change. You become so filled with love and light for life and existence and all others that exists. That others cant just help, but smile, that will be a smile with the new light, radiant, capable of shining bright enough to ignite the fire in others…and just keep it going. We are at the final push. This must happen right now, shine, shine, shine baby! Find reasons to laugh, to smile, to ne greatful, yo be appreciative, no matter the bad. Feel the glow of life sparkling deep down as you allow yourself to truly enjoy that emotion. Nothing is quite as powerful.

Lightworkers, this is coming out as a message, now is your time to be the change that you want to see. Whether one sees this or many. You alone, you make a difference. That means tomorrow morning, you start being nicer. You make the resolve to not be pissed if someone cuts you off in traffic, or tailgates a little too close. You understand that they are just another human being, who is so lost and confused in this rat race of a life, that they cant think of anyone but themselves. And instead of just judging it, or getting mad, labeling them an asshole, stupid idiot who cant drive, or any other creative name, you just forgive them and wish they will find a moment to lift their nose from the grindstone and understand what they are doing to themselves. Tomorrow morning, you genuinely wish your coffee barista a great day because there is not a reason in the world it shouldnt be. Tomorrow morning, you smile at the checkstand clerk or gas attendant and thank them sincerely. Because everyone feels honesty, and when someone is honestly noticed they feel their soul flutter and wake up just a little more.

 

 

Well..that was unexpected. I just kept typing because the words just kept droping in to my head. I was pondering on one subject and then it turned into a conversation in my head, and then a monologue that wasnt mine. That was pretty cool. I felt the whole message, its urgency and its force, its need tobe delivered and heard.

So…that means… transition is here, put your best foot forward and be the change right now, because the time has come. (Again…not me)

 

Oki doki then. I think i am going to think about this.

Tarot message

When you get a tarot message  you had no idea was coming, when it is so truly astonishing that you just don’t know how to approach it…. I know not everything tarot says is accurate, the cards only show what they know, we are the masters of our own reality… but even in that light things come that are so profoundly shocking, that it’s impossible not to be taken aback…

 

I asked for a message that humanity needs to hear now

My immediate card was 3 of swords (image of a pierced heart by 3 swords). The card was crying tears of heartbroken people, three swords stabbed through the heart that represents humanity. We are a match for worldwar 3.

Clear scene being played. Heartbreak, pain, disaster, that leaves behind it enough people to understand where they went wrong as humanity, where we failed.

I was so shaken by how clear and profound it was. I had to snap myself out of it and ask if there is still a chance.

Imediately 3 cards fell out: knight of swords, five of penacles, queen of pentacles.

Knight of swords was the spirit of Joanne of arc, aka lightworkers. Call for action to be the change we want to see in the world, kindness, compassion, start living it today, in the now. Start being kind. This is the call to action.

Five of pentacles was two poor people passing by a church, the scene played out that they walked in the church were given warmth, food and kindness. Practice kindness to everyone. Love, acceptance, compassion is your nature, use it.

Queen of pentacles…gazing into the reflection through the pentacle or looking all around her as the world truly is. Don’t be clouded by money, don’t see the world through a greedy reflection, be kinder, share, abundance is all around you. In light of the shooting in Orlando, see the helpers, see the ones that came to support…not the shooter or the victims families pain. Focus on love, support, kindess,compassion of those who are there.

So overall message was be the change you want to see in the world, you may not change the world, but ou will change someone’s world, and they will in turn do the same..make your influence a positive one. Change starts with you. Our chance is still here but growing smaller everyday. Share your kindness with everyone, share the best you can, small gestures, just start, be a little more patient with everyone and yourself. But start right now. There is no time to lose. We are very close to the brink. If love is not our catalyst for change, world war 3 will be.

There is so much more in there in small details, but I can’t fathom pouring it all out in consequtive and comprehensive manner.

 

Love and light.

 

#message #lightworkers #now #worldwar3 #kindness