*Edit: today’s post started as a means to check back in with myself about my day. What emerged right after I started typing was something other.. a conversation with my higherself? I did ask myself for help today more than once.. I finally gave it the opportunity to come and express “myself”. Wow. I’m very happy about this conversation! So as you read and it starts to shift into a different direction, that’s the transition.
I can’t say that I succeeded today in staying present or even staying positive. I think last night’s failure in meditation and this mornings brain tantrums threw me off course. I know that tomorrow I can do better. I know that tomorrow is a brand new day and all is going to be good. It’s a new start, “Today is a new day”. Just because today didn’t turn out as I wished, it doesn’t mean that I can give up on my goals.
Staying present is challenging. Humans are creatures of habit, and it’s hard to break habits, especially if they are in our “favor”. Living outside of the present moment allows me an excuse to be a certain way or not to be a certain way, it suits my “needs”, keeps away the responsibility. It’s a hard habit to let go. But not impossible. Living in the present moment brings a greater joy, a greater love and greater appreciation for everything in life. That, right there, is worth striving for. It’s worth trying time and time and again. Feeling the roots take hold in the ground from the bottoms of my feet, such a powerful visual. It helps me stay anchored and tied to the core, steady and safe, comfortable and relaxed, secure and happy, feeling of belonging and relaxation. Finding comfort in that feeling, developing and further visualizing such a powerful image helps stay focused. Helps provide the foundations for building on with ideas, habits, beliefs… strong foundation is key. I often feel very air headed, not grounded and now I feel that a good part of my meditation practice should focus on grounding work. I often get so air-headed that I forget to check in on the ground- fleeting brain, random thoughts are all results of not being grounded or connected. Taking root, making home, finding the core is the ground work for building up the higher self to live in this world. The more grounded I can make sure that I am, the more successful I will be at reaching my goals every day, staying connected and reaching the higher vibrational frequencies. Two techniques that seem to do well for me are 1- imagining roots from the bottom of my feet, and 2- to feel every connection my body has with the physical world- feeling in the fingertips as my fingers type and touch the keyboard, feeling of the skin pulling under my elbows, as I reach for the keys higher up the “middle key line”, the coldness of the computer desk, the weight of headphones on my head, the fuzziness of the carpet under my feet. Find that reality and grasp it, visualize the connections.
Once my mind is calm, and I’m at peace with the day, changes can really take place. The transformation between this afternoon and the state of “now” is mind blowing. Small things in life can remind us why we try hard to break habits.. My son is that reason. Taking the time to feel joy in his presence today, while he sweetly cuddled on me as we read books and he pointed out all the letters that he knew.. Realizing that nowhere is more important than right here and right now. Future may never come, but the present is all we have. Taking the moment to see the light in the present moment and realize its value, take it for what it is, pure love, pure happiness- nothing is masked when the mind is calm. Frantic mind hides all the joy in the world. It masks it with dark colors and unhappy sub-tones.. who needs that? why would you choose to pay attention to the dark colors, rather than the bright and happy moment underneath? No one would consciously choose to, people are, at least so many people, are unaware that they have that choice, that they hold the key and the power to make that valuable difference in their life. By recognizing that the present moment is always masked with shadows of past and hints of the future, the worries, unhappiness and stress… Why are we programmed to see the negative? Why can’t we focus on the positive? Evolutionary trait? perhaps, seeing the negative might have ben potentially life saving at one point in time.. Why are so many “waking up” now? Because we are no longer a vibrational match to the evolving universe, the fractal is dividing, or multiplying. We need to do so along with it, so our consciousness is dividing is in the two that we really are: the mind and the self (the source, the consciousness), so that we may choose the side- the one that wins for us personally. Not everyone in the world is meant to be awakened, some need to stay behind and remind us the conscious ones why the evolution process happened. Prepping yourself for that evolution is what your job is, your mission, your purpose. You, by becoming your greater version, help inspire others who are almost ready to make that change.. but those who aren’t- won’t do anything different in their lives- and that’s okay too. We are a garland, by turning on your “present” moment light, you help shine some light on those who aren’t beaming yet, by shedding some light in their directions simply by being you, by being close.. it helps them see the light with in themselves. We aren’t here to preach, to teach or punish, we are here simply to inspire, to invite changes, make it known, make it common, make it seen rather than something that “only Tibetan monks can do”, or “you read about in books of ancient civilizations”. This world will evolve into something beautiful, pure, full of love and compassion, understanding and joy. Earth’s and humanities evolution is something to be witnessed, something to be enjoyed, we are truly lucky to be alive in this time and watch the transformation form the ugly, uncaring and selfish (all generally applied terms) species into something beautiful… caterpillar into a butterfly, if you will. although I don’t think we have a “marinading” time , we are just going for it- evolving as we go on about our lives.
*This last paragraph below is me asking a clarifying question and getting the answer, so you will notice a lot of interchanges between “I, you and them”-”
So work on yourself, you can do it, because the result will be tremendous. Remember, you aren’t here to teach, you are here to simply be and inspire- how you choose to inspire is your own calling. So what am I doing now by writing this all out in a public blog? Truth is, here, those who search for it, will find it, just like the millions of other waking up light workers, will eventually find their patch to what they search. Think about it, how did you arrive to read papers, blogs, books on these subjects- there is a reason. You are not advertising, you aren’t pushing it down anyone’s throat, I’m simply here … for you… to document my journey, to help myself get to the place where I can beam love and light.. if something here inspires someone else- that’s fantastic, I’m joyful for them. That’s your way of shining light on those who wish to receive it.
Ok, I think that’s enough automatic writing for the night.. this was a profound learning session for me.. finally being able to put down in words something that has come to my head so many times, but never having the means to record it or later to phrase it so it makes sense. Now I have to go back through and edit all the typos… there are so many, I was typing a million words a minute!
Love and light!